And That's Why You're Single

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Why Are There So Many Flakes On OKCupid? Posted: 18 Dec 2013 03:01 PM PST Tweet Name: Richard Comment: This is something that’s more of a question to put out there for all of your readers, since I know you and most of your readers use OKCupid, but has anyone noticed an uptick of notifications from OK that people ‘like’ you? (meaning they’ve given you 4 or 5 stars on the QuickMatch system) Since re-activating my account, I’ve received at least 2 every two weeks, I search the username on OKCupid (since I don’t pay for that feature) and I email these women back, but I never get a response from any of them, which I think odd since they’ve apparently viewed my profile and seemed interested. I’d just like to know if I’m the only person I have this happening to on OKCupid, if OKCupid is up to some shenanigans to try to get people to pay additional for the QuickMatch service, or if this is the norm. Thanks! Age: 44 City: Boston State: MA I’ve received a few Quickmatch ratings and contacted those people and had some of them not reply, too. I don’t know if it’s necessarily a scam, though. Rating someone as opposed to emailing them has a lower level of investment. It’s easier. Sometimes people do it without actually reading the profile and questions or looking through the photos. I’ve rated or liked people before thoroughly reading their profile only to find out there’s a major deal breaker in their responses or photos. I’ve also accidentally rated people when using the app. I have man-thumbs, you see. It also appears that the OKCupid app is now set up to resemble Tinder in that you can just swipe through profiles and swipe in a specific direction in order to notify that person that you like them.  If you incorrectly swipe right (or left?) then that person gets  a notification that you like them. I’ve done this a couple of times. Those guys that I erroneously rated by swiping in the wrong direction contacted me and I didn’t respond. It sounds like that might be what’s happening here with you. It’s important to remember that since OKCupid is free it’s going to attract a lot of bottom feeders. Since members don’t have to pay to communicate, that site becomes a breeding ground for attention seekers, con artists and folks just looking for something to occupy their time because they’re bored. It makes sense that someone who didn’t want to take the time to write a message would flake. They probably weren’t all that interested in the first place, hence why they didn’t exert much effort. Or they rated a bunch of people and, much like when someone sends a mass text, decided to focus on whomever replied first. OKCupid is owned by Match.com, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that this is just a sales tactic. That said,  I honestly don’t think that OKCupid is taking a page from Match.com’s book and trying to rope you in to re-upping on their service by fabricating possible suitors. When I was using OKCupid, I paid for the membership. I liked seeing who rated me. I also had a love/hate relationship with the ability to see if a message I sent had been read. I think you should sign up for the paid membership strictly for the ability to see who rated you.That’s it. Don’t torture yourself by checking to see if your attempt at contact has been opened. As wishy washy as it seems to flirt or wink or rate someone, people just get tired of crafting emails only to have so many of them go unanswered.

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