And That's Why You're Single

Can You Avoid The Creepy Sexters & Players of Online Dating?

Posted: 02 Dec 2013 02:39 PM PST

Name: Kesha
Comment: Hello, I am new to the online dating world and after setting up my account, I get lots of hits everyday, but I’m having a problem sifting through the guys that come across as decent and being able to tell if they’re really interested in getting to know me or just interested in someone to talk dirty to them. Call me a prude, but I’d really prefer that the conversation to NOT immediately head in that direction and that’s something I save for someone I’m dating, not someone I’m speaking to for the first time. I’m really starting to lose faith and hope in the online dating system. Is that the norm for online dating nowadays where its ok to sext during the initial conversation? How do I read the signs and weed these douches out?? Help, please.
Age: 37
City: Daytona Beach
State: Fla

No, it’s not the norm for initial conversations via a dating website should quickly devolve into sexting. Which isn’t to say that it’s not common, just that it is not an expectation. You will run into this, especially on the free sites. It’s far less common on the paid sites.

The first thing to establish is just what exactly these men are saying. Are they really talking dirty, or are you just reading things into their statements that aren’t there? Innuendo isn’t always bad or inappropriate. Often times light sexual banter is a way for people to test their prospective dates interest in sex. Which, again, is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people prioritize sex in a relationship. There are also some folks who are horribly socially awkward and don’t know how to flirt. So if you get a decent vibe from them otherwise, then ignore their comments and change the subject. If their commentary gets graphic, then that’s your cue to leave.

Another sign is if they’re conversation includes a lot of net speak or if they immediately ask you to chat with them. Turn off all of the chat features on any site that you’re on and employ the filters that some of the paid sites use so you won’t hear from guys you don’t want to hear from.

One more red flag is if they live far away. Most of these guys are looking for Skype sex or phone sex or naked photos. Especially if they offer a ton of compliments, namely ones that revolve around your looks. Look closely at their photos. Shirtless shots? Pictures of themselves lounging with bedroom eyes on a couch or bed? Yeah, they’re probably looking for sexy time chat.

Keep conversation to the email platform provided by the dating site. Don’t give them your personal contact info until you are about to meet up. That will help you keep the wolves at bay, too. Utilize the block feature as well..

There’s really only one true way to avoid these guys before the conversation even starts. Ready? If they’re better looking that you typically pull, then there’s probably something off. By 37, you should know by now what sort of guy you can easily attract. If someone who falls outside of that group approaches you, you should be on guard. Nobody likes to hear it, but for the most part it’s true: there are some people you will never realistically get to date. Believing otherwise is why so many people find themselves being used for meals, money and sex.

Attract Girls Now

Monday, December 2, 2013

And That's Why You're Single

And That's Why You're Single

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