And That's Why You're Single

The Savvy Dater: How Do You Handle a Last Minute Cancellation?

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 05:58 AM PDT

Name: Paige
Comment: I met a guy online, we were supposed to have our first date last night. He told me he was celebrating his college football team win up to 30 minutes until our date (mind you we had a late enough date planned and his team played at 2:30 that day so in other words he’s been at the bar all day). He then texts me 30 minutes before we were supposed to be at the place saying “hey, I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m not in tip top shape and I want to make a good impression”. He NEVER apologized and the next morning he stated that he was at brunch. He’s now texting me again has yet to apologize or reschedule. Should I just forget about him or give him another chance?
Age: 25
City: Dallas
State: Texas

I think the apology was implied in the initial text where he cancelled the date. Had he called you, I have a feeling he probably would have offered an apology. But keep in mind that he was out with his bros at a bar watching a game. That means he was probably a lil’ drunky. As frustrating as it it to get that call, he was smart to text and not pick up the phone. Given your reaction here, and given that he probably had had a few, I don’t see that conversation ending well.

In the future, in order to avoid this particular scenario, don’t agree to be penciled in between other appointments. This is why you don’t plan a date before or after another event. Dates should be scheduled when you have a few hours free and no place to be afterwards. Especially avoid dates that are being scheduled around a sporting or other televised event. Those things rarely start or end on time.

To be more accurate, avoid people who tell you that they’re prioritizing a game or what not over meeting you. Not that I don’t get it. Awards season is almost upon us. My friend Karen and I devote HOURS to watching red carpets and award telecasts together. HOURS. Her husband knows to plan accordingly. I ABSOLUTELY prioritize that time with my friend over guys or dates. But I would NEVER tell the guy that. Why? It makes me sound kinda crazy. By revealing that, I would be saying to him, “You will never be more important than listening to bad Neil Patrick Harris jokes.” That’s not how you start things off with someone new.

Why give a stupid reason. They could just say “I’m really tired but would like to reschedule.” Then you reschedule and go out. That’s how normal people do it. A girl once canceled on me last minute on the grounds that her father broke his leg. What? I said “no problem” and immediately went out with her best friend. Then I ate her liver with some fava beans. The last part isn’t true. – A friend

Should you give him a second chance? I don’t know. Personally, I have a hard time bouncing back from last minute cancels. If I’m given sufficient enough heads up, say a few hours, I probably would let it slide. But if that cancellation occurs while I’m getting ready to meet them, I’m out. It makes the person cancelling look flaky and like they don’t have their shit together. That’s not what somebody who wants to make a good impression does. That’s something done by someone who isn’t all that interested in the first place. Save for extenuating circumstances like accidents or work obligations dropped in your lap, if you’re debating whether or not to cancel a date, don’t wait to see how things play out. Cancel that date the minute you have a hesitation.

If someone is going to cancel, and they genuinely want to meet someone, they should have a back up date ready to suggest. So, Paige, in your case I would blow this guy off. He doesn’t seem like he’s got it together enough to be ready for any kind of productive relationship.

Attract Girls Now

Friday, October 25, 2013

And That's Why You're Single

And That's Why You're Single

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