And That's Why You're Single |
| What Kind Of (Financial) Protection Do You Use In Your Relationship? Posted: 30 Oct 2013 06:01 AM PDT Name: CP I communicated with a guy in the internet for almost a month and a half. It was casual communication. On and off communication. Then one day,I had a garage sale and my neighbor came to my garage sale and introduce himself to me. He said that he has been divorce for almost seven years. Then, he ask me out for a dinner and I said yes. So I went to dinner with my neighbor and I did enjoy the night with him. We played pool have fun the whole night. The following day I was waiting for a call from him and I did not get any call from my neighbor. Now,I wrote to my internet friend the story and he responded to me that he is very interested in getting to know me and would like to send me a round trip ticket to come and visit him in another State. Because of my frustration with my neighbor, I accepted the offer. It is a 4 day weekend in heaven with this internet guy. He and I were a match from heaven. he likes to eat healthy- which I do, he likes to exercise-which I also do, he likes to dance -I also like to dance, the sex was marvelous and excellent. He is 61 yo and I am 58 yo. This internet guy has been in the internet for almost 4 years and he had a live in partner for a year and half until they split last April 2013. The main reason for the split is the girl’s priority is her Church and the boyfriend is secondary. Therefore they split. Now, After I came back from a 4 day weekend with this internet guy, we have been communicating ever since. We both fell in love. He is asking me to move to his place in another State and I said YES! The problem is- I have to sell my house before I can move with him. I just lose my husband last year due to long debilitating illness. Question???? Am I making huge mistake. Is it too quick to move in with this guy. I know it will take a while to sell my house.Unconfuse me Pl’s!!!!!! Is this something I would do? Hell no. I think even you know that this is crazy. If you didn’t think it was odd you wouldn’t be writing in. Unsuspecting recently widowed woman? Yeah, you’re a prime target. This has scam written all over it.You and her barely know each other. You’ve spent all of four days with him. Surely this must all seem impulsive to you. What kind of a person would make such a request of someone they barely know? You sell your house and you’ll come into the relationship with a chunk of cash. Don’t you think that might play a part in why he’s in such a rush? My answer, OP, is to stay where you are. Everything about this feels shady to me. I think he wants your money. Selling your house is a huge step. What kind of security would he be providing for you in exchange for you giving up your home? Would your name go on the lease or deed and title where he lives? How would you be protected in this scenario? Being offered a place to sleep isn’t enough. Should you decide to throw caution to the wind and move to be with him, look into a Cohabitation Agreement. I don’t care how in love two people are, all bets are off when emotions come in to play and money or property is at stake. It becomes he said/she said. Whether you’re moving in together or getting married, you should ways check the laws in your state of residence to see how and if you are protected legally should things not work out. Know exactly what you are entitled to and which assets may or may not be protected. Most importantly, get EVERYTHING in writing. That’s not being negative or doom and gloom. That’s being responsible and smart.Don’t take those precautions and whatever money you do get will be eaten by legal fees. Always do your research before you enter into anything legally or financially binding with another person. That includes bank accounts, loans and credit cards. Before she got married, my niece and her husband took a couples course through her church that taught couples of all ages about managing money. Religious affiliations aside, that’s not a bad idea if you ask me. She and her husband are both employed full-time, which helps. They both bring similar earning potential to the table. The days of the man taking a wife and fully supporting her from day one are gone. At least they should be. I think it’s foolish to marry or merge assets in any way with someone who does not have a proven track record of financial stability and responsibility. You’re asking for trouble if you attach yourself to a partner who does not have their own relationship with money. Last week I received an email from a woman who apparently was scammed out of money by a guy she met at an event in Long Island. She looked into what her legal recourse could be and believes she stumbled upon some information that proved the guy was living under an alias. I don’t know the full details, nor do I want to know. I have a very simple rule when it comes to men and money: they don’t mix. If a man I was casually dating ever tried to ask me for money, he would immediately be considered suspect. Requests like this or like the one in today’s letter would automatically set off warning bells. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you think you have with someone. Rarely is it as simple as keeping a tab of what you’ve paid out and being reimbursed. That’s why you need to make sure you use protection.
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