And That's Why You're Single

Sometimes They’re Not Flirting They’re Just Being Friendly

Posted: 27 Jan 2014 02:22 PM PST

Name: GL
Comment: I recently became ‘mates’ if you will with a guy 7 years younger than me at work. He pretty much gave me his number straight away saying if I ever wanted to hang for a drink to give him a holler. Ok, so I did just that! Organized when we would both be off and he agreed. The day comes along and upto the night before he was saying how it’s going to be a great night, drinking and carrying on and how he’s keen to catch up. Keep in mind it’s been me really that has initiated it all along, but with his initial ‘give me a holler anytime’. So the day comes along and I text him to see where he wants to meet and he replies saying something has just gone down earlier and he’s really sorry but he gives me an iron clad guarantee he’ll make it upto me! I’ve replied all cool, not to worry, to take care etc etc, and he’s subsequently replied saying I’m too awesome and he will shout totally next time!
Thing is, I think I’m rely liking him so it kinda disappointed me, given I was looking forward to it over 2 weeks.
What do readers think? A mutual work friend reckons it must’ve been ligit for him to pass up on drinks. I kinda feel it was too, but at the same time I feel let down a little…??
Age: 35
City: Sydney
State: NSW

The vibe I’m getting from how you told this story is that his invite to grab a drink sometime was casual bordering on platonic. It’s likely that he had no idea how important this was to you. He probably saw it as a casual get together. You thought of it as a date.

If you are interested in dating him, then maybe ask him to get together again, but make it clear that you’re asking him on a date. You can make it light and say, “I thought I would ask you on a proper date. How about drinks on Thursday?” Then you’ll have your answer.

Sort of.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not really pro the asking men out thing. Not because I believe in gender roles or that men are supposed to do it but because I think a lot of men would accept a date with someone they’re meh about and have sex with them any way. I might be stereotyping here, but I don’t see as many women doing the same thing. Of course, that’s only a problem if you would feel awful if things did get physical and nothing came from it. If you’re someone who can detach yourself from all of that and can take it for what it is, then go on with your bad self and enjoy.

I say ask him out, see what he says and then just go with it. Just don’t do anything you might regret or use to beat yourself up with later.

Attract Girls Now

Monday, January 27, 2014

And That's Why You're Single

And That's Why You're Single

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