Tuesday, May 13, 2014

And That's Why You're Single

And That's Why You're Single


Did He Blow Her Off Because Of Her Age?

Posted: 13 May 2014 02:11 PM PDT

Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): Bethwomenover40dating-400x235

Comment: So, this man expressed a lot of interest in dating me.  I’ve had a slight crush on him for a couple weeks prior to knowing he also was interested. We go out and have good conversation.  It was a nice date.  However he seemed to focus a lot on my age.  He thought I was ten years younger than I actually am.  Based on my appearance alone.  We’re the exact same age.  He seemed amazed that I was, “aging so gracefully.”  Well, since that date, I haven’t really heard from him.  I’m guessing my age is a problem.  Because he focused so much on believing I was in my 20′s.
My question… Should I contact him and ask him out (I do like him) or take his silence as a lack of interest in dating me?  Thanks!
Age: 37
City: Brookline
State: MA

You don’t know why he never followed up. He could have just decided that there wasn’t enough compatibility or chemistry to take things further. You’re assuming it had to do with your age because of all of his awkward questions and comments. Nothing trips us up more then when we try to fill in the blanks ourselves. We are never going to know why someone chose not to see us again. We will never have the real story. Better to just accept the radio silence then to try to solve puzzles like this, as we’ll drive ourselves mad and probably totally psyche ourselves out in the process.

That said, do I think you’re age had something to do with it? Probably. He likely wanted to date someone a little younger. That’s his right. Although he’s 37 and trying to date women in their late twenties, which kind of tells you all you need to know about him.While ten year age gaps aren’t that uncommon, and aren’t as problematic with this particular age spread, I tend to think guys who pursue women that much younger do so for reasons other than compatibility. You don’t want to be with a man who has all kinds of preconceived ideas about aging and fertility and how every woman over 35 is running around like a chicken with their head cut off looking to drag someone down the isle. Dating young allows him to buy himself time. He wants the shiny new thing, as we discussed yesterday. Okay. Have fun with that. There are plenty of men in their forties and older who have no problem dating someone your/our/my age.

Comments like “you’re aging so gracefully” also speak volumes. Because, like, apparently 37 is wicked old. Which it is. To him.  Statements like that are condescending and rude. Aging is a natural process, and it ain’t always pretty. Saying someone is aging gracefully means they don’t look haggard. It’s a back-handed compliment.

While there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to him just so you can tell yourself you tried, I wouldn’t have very high hopes. He likes what he likes, and it’s doubtful that that will change.

 

 

 

One on One Dating Profile Review

 Get a 45 minute one on one review of your profile with me.  I'll go over your picture selection and ad text and let you know if your profile includes any buzz words or red flags. I'll also help you tweak/write your profile if it needs some freshening up.

 $45 – INCLUDES:

  • *Profile analysis (45 minute phone session.)
  • *Assistance with editing and re-writes.
  • *Photo selection and review.
  • *Feedback about specific issues and experiences.
  • *Site selections  and Pros & Cons of the more popular dating sites.
  • *Overview of online dating basics – how to write intro messages, how to draw more attention to your profile, how to sort your searches so you can see profiles you might be missing.

 

$45 (Use code BLOG to save $10)

Eventbrite - Master Match.com & OKCupid

 

Let Me Write Your Profile For You

$75 – INCLUDES:

  • *A complete re-write of your self-summary and other profile sections as well as what you are looking for in a partner or date.
  • *Assistance with editing and re-writes.
  • *Photo selection and review.
  • *Feedback about specific issues and experiences.
  • *Site selections and Pros & Cons of the more popular dating sites.
  • *Learn how to write better intro messages that will get responses
  • *Get tips to draw more attention to your profile
  • *Learn how to sort your searches so you can see profiles you might be missing.

 $75 (Use code BLOG to save $10)

Eventbrite - Master Match.com & OKCupid

 

Share

No comments:

Post a Comment