And That's Why You're Single

Posted: 10 Mar 2014 02:56 PM PDT

Name: ES
:
Comment: Meet a guy at a party and we both seemed to be attracted to each other quite straightforward. Forty-somethings, singles and free. We spent 48 hours together at my place. We talked a lot, went around, and yes, had sex too. I did not make any move at all to extend this “thing” further. He did. He asked me to visit him at his home (100 miles away from mine) We kept talking and texting. I liked him so much. I went two weeks later to his place and was surprised by the joy he expressed in every possible way. We were together for two days and a half, quite happily, I guess. The last day, he seemed a bit less joyful, I was very tired (didn’t sleep well) but he still talked about going to some place he liked next time I went to visit. Ten days later, after some texting between us (he didn’t call), I asked If he wanted to meet me again as I was thinking a lot about him. He told me “of course, but not as you may wish, I’ve met someone since, sorry to bother you”. Ok, I can manage that. But he also said he liked me just “as a person” and didn’t want to go further in the first place, and did not invite me to his place to hook up, and denied sending confusable signals to me. I’m not a fool, so how come I misunderstood him so much, for Goodness’ sake? I’m still puzzled. Thank you.
Age: 46
City: NYC
State: NYC

One of two things happened.

By the third day you and he spent together when you went to visit him, his interest began to wane. To put it bluntly, he got sick of you. You and he didn’t know each other well enough to spend that much time together so quickly. There wasn’t enough comfort between you for him to say, “Hey, I need a couple hours to myself.”

I’ve mentioned several times that I don’t like to date men who have roommates. One of the reasons is because I don’t like having to always host. When you host, you can’t just toss someone out of your apartment. I mean, you can, but it’s awkward. When you stay at someone else’s place, you can make up an excuse and leave. Couples – especially new ones – need this kind of get out of jail card. We need time to acclimate and get used to each other’s quirks. Being stuck with someone you barely know for three days means you see all their weird “single” behavior at once. In your case, this guy hadn’t developed enough of a tolerance or affection for you, if he even had it to begin with, to want you around for three days.

Or..

He was just looking to get some all along and never was all that interested. That’s pretty self-explanatory. People can fake intense levels of interest just for sex. Especially if they are low on options.

Could he have met someone else? Of course. Anything is possible. Whether he did or didn’t doesn’t really matter. What matters is that he told you he did. That was his way of either slowing things down or ending them completely. All the rest about how he didn’t intend for his penis to fall into your vagina off and on for a whole weekend is BS. He either decided after 3 days with you he wasn’t all that into it or always knew he wasn’t that into you,and just wanted to get laid. With that out of his system, now he wants to move on.

He’s probably not really interested in being your friend. If he is, he’ll follow up with you to talk or catch up. He’s trying to duck responsibility for being misleading and dishonest. He’s trying to make you think it was all in your head because he can’t reconcile with the fact that he likely never intended for things to progress beyond a casual hook-up.

Attract Girls Now

Monday, March 10, 2014

And That's Why You're Single

And That's Why You're Single

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