And That's Why You're Single |
| Signs He’s A Really Sh*tty Person Posted: 18 Mar 2014 06:03 AM PDT Name: AD We’ve talked abut meeting twice, just for a coffee, but never actually happened, so we decided to meet in town after going out with a couple of friends. I didn’t actually think that we would end up meeting, so I decided to get really drunk – of course he ended up texting me, and he wasn’t, so I went with him home, and had my first one night stand.. It was actually pretty awkward because I was too drunk to be my self. Anyways, went home early next morning, even though he asked if I wanted a shower, he kissed me several of times, before I went.. 5 minutes after I sended him a snapchat and he responded me.. The day after I found out that I took his earplugs with me back home by an accident, and I wrote him, that I had it, and he should just respond me, if he wanted it back… Now I haven’t heard from him, thinking about just writing him that I’m sorry that it got to end here… I gotta say, that when I finally met him, he told me that he was positive surprised, and I was more – like not saying anything… How many days should I put him on ice, and what would the best move to be, I’f I feel like I disappointed him? You should put him on ice in perpetuity. Here’s why. Any guy who has sex with a woman when she is “really drunk” is not a good guy. Period. Full stop. Now, there’s a decent chance he had no idea how drunk you were since he wasn’t out with you and didn’t have a baseline for how you are when you’re sober versus drunk. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt because I wasn’t there. But if you were acting drunk and it was obvious you were drunk, and this guy had sex with you anyway, I feel very confident in saying he’s a pretty shitty person. But..if he truly didn’t know you were inebriated to the point that your behavior changed..he’s still a dick. He showed no interest in getting to know you other than later one night when you had been out with friends. He didn’t want to meet for coffee. He didn’t want to meet you in any kind of scenario other than one that would lend itself to him getting laid. NOT A NICE GUY. I gotta say, that when I finally met him, he told me that he was positive surprised, and I was more – like not saying anything… What he was actually saying was, “Wow, the whole reason I delayed meeting you was because I wasn’t sure I found you attractive enough to make the effort. But since we’re here…” NOT A NICE GUY. That’s a backhanded compliment. Tinder quickly received the reputation of being a hook-up site. I have received a couple messages from guys with whom I matched who made it quite clear they just wanted sex. As in all they said was, “Let’s fuck.” My personal favorite was the guy who said, “Hi there. I was wondering if you’d be interested in sex. Totally casual.” Sex? I love sex. But not with some rando idiot who actually thinks that kind of approach is appropriate. These are guys who don’t care a whit if they offend you. You’re there, you have a pulse, so why not? This guy you went out with? He saw you as a potential hook-up and that’s about it. That’s it. I’m sorry to be so graphic and brutal about it, but this whole scenario has me so incredibly angry and uncomfortable. Now, here’s where I’m going to say something that might ruffle some feathers. Do not EVER go off and meet a stranger from any dating website or that you have never met before in any way when you’re drunk. You do not know these people and you don’t know what they’re capable of. And do not EVER agree to meet someone from a site or an app “after you go out with your friends” unless all you’re looking for is a casual hook-up. And even then, you need to keep your wits about you. Which means don’t do it if you’re drunk. You need to be able to make informed decisions, especially in regards to casual sex. When you’re drunk, you’re less aware. This guy was only going to make the effort for you when he was already out and about. That’s not really someone you want to devote any effort or time to. This kind of behavior might be commonplace in college and in those early post-college years. People go out, they drink, they meet casually with groups, they have random hook-ups. This is how the millenials date, and I get that. Don’t contact this guy again. Let him go to Best Buy and spring for new ear buds. Block him on Tinder and do not ever reach out to him again. This guy couldn’t even have been bothered to reply to your message about having something of his. You didn’t do anything to cause the outcome of this. This was always going to be the outcome. This was all he wanted. The whole cuddling/shower/snapchat stuff are just a bunch of phony gestures to get more sex. They don’t mean what you think they mean. Please don’t contact this guy again.
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