And That's Why You're Single

Help! I’m 15 and Have A Crush On a Girl At School

Posted: 11 Apr 2014 03:29 PM PDT

Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): KS

Comment: Hello friends!! I actually like a girl a lot. I have never talked to her. I see her in hallways and she looks back at me sometimes and her friends always like giggles when i am around. I decide to talk to her but just i get very nervous and cannot talk. It’s been 4 months since i like her and i just want to know if it is too late to ask and recently she seems to be upset because i never talked to her. When i go near her my heart just starts beating very fast. Please help me out!
Age: 15
City: Holtsville
State: New York

It’s never too late!

Next time you see her, just say hello and ask how her weekend was. Let the conversation unfold naturally. Stick to simple topics like what’s going on at school, activities or even movies or TV. Simple stuff.

Just be friendly and respectful, don’t comment on her looks or clothes or body, and talk to her like a human being. It’s okay to be nervous. Even adults get nervous when they talk to people they have crushes on,

Rejection happens to everybody, so don’t fear it. You will absolutely bounce back from rejection. We all do. But you’ll feel worse if never tried to see if she likes you back.

Go for it and report back! Good luck!

Why Has The Sex Gotten Less Kinky?

Posted: 11 Apr 2014 06:07 AM PDT

Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): Happy but curious
Comment: My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. I’ve only had one previous relationship last longer than this one so I don’t know if this is something that happens to all relationships or just mine but I’ve noticed the sex is so different from when we first started dating. At first he would throw me on his bed and rip my clothes off and have really raucous rough sex with me all over his bedroom and say really freaky things (some of it good, some of it …whoa) and as we’ve gotten to know each other better and gotten more serious the sex has definitely mellowed out, he’s not rough with me unless I explicitly tell him to be, still some dirty talk but he doesn’t say gross things anymore, all improvements from where I stand.

I’m just wondering though…it seemed like at first he wasn’t really sure where this was headed and didn’t hold back whatsoever, but once he fell in love with me the sex almost overnight became more romantic and less thrash. Or are we just past the initial excitement of sex with someone new so it’s just tame sex and I don’t know the difference? Is this a thing? Do some guys do this type of thing where they let their freak flag fly at first but reign it in once they’re more emotionally invested?
Age: 27
City: Los Angeles
State: Ca

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have found a groove, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your guy could just be reading your cues and adjusting his sexual style to meet your preferences. Of course, there’s also the whole ebb and flow aspect to a couple’s sex life. It’s normal to settle in to a sexual style.

I do think there’s something to theory that, when feelings deepen, the sex changes for some people.For them, it feels weird or strange to do certain things to a partner that they care for. That’s about their attitudes towards sex and sexuality. To them, being rough with a partner or requesting certain acts be performed does not align with caring for someone. They don’t feel comfortable treating someone roughly or acting in a way that is often considered “slutty.” There’s a disconnect present for them that makes it hard to reconcile their desires with their feelings. Plus, there is that possibility that they reserve certain acts or behaviors for a certain type of person or relationship. Like, they won’t give you a facial because facials are “slutty” and you’re their girlfriend so you can’t be slutty. It’s a block that they have, and it’s kind of problematic because it’s indicative of some troubling opinions they have about women.

Thoughts?

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Friday, April 11, 2014