And That's Why You're Single

Is He Pretending To Be Serious About Her Just To Get Sex? #atwys

Posted: 18 Jun 2014 02:48 PM PDT

Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): lil lamb curvy5

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Comment: I met this guy on Match a few weeks ago, and we’ve gone out a couple times. He’s older (51, I’m 35–I’m fine with the age gap and so is he), successful, smart, fun and attractive. He rents a vacation house with a few friends in the summer and wants to take me with him this weekend. We have not slept together yet, or done anything other than kiss. I’m assuming, but am not certain that he expects me to stay in his room with him? His friends will be there, meaning I will be meeting them and partying with them too. My question–does he want to be serious with me or does he probably take every girl he meets away for the weekend? I would like to see him more seriously, but I don’t want to jump the gun on this.
Age: 35
City: cleveland
State: oh

Why can’t you just ask him what the sleeping arrangements are for the weekend? That’s a totally valid question. It won’t make you look like some shrieking nag. Or you could just assume that you’ll be sleeping in his bed and plan accordingly. Not sure I’d want my first time with a new guy to be in a house where all his bros are sleeping, though. That seems a little tacky.

Frankly, I think it’s weird to invite you away on a weekend when he knows his friends will be around if he hasn’t slept with you yet. That’s just strange. Maybe he likes showing off the hot younger woman he’s dating?

Or…

He’s making grand gestures in order to get you to sleep with him. He might be thinking that, If he invites you to spend a weekend with him and meet his friends, this will make you think he’s serious about you so you will have sex with him. That’s the only thing I can think of that makes any sense. I don’t know why anybody would willingly put themselves in a position like this. Not after just two dates. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but that feels too fast. Especially when at this point all you’ve done is kiss.

Inviting you to go away for a weekend after two dates is not typical or normal dating behavior. People just don’t do that with someone they’re dating casually. It’s too high stakes. A whole weekend? That’s a lot of pressure for such a new relationship.

My gut says he’s either eager to show you off to his friends, which is lame at any age let alone 50, or he’s priming the pump so you’ll think the relationship is headed in a certain direction so you’ll sleep with him. If you want to sleep with him, sleep with him. But if you aren’t ready to have sex with him, don’t go away for the weekend with him. It just puts you in a very awkward position, and the awkwardness will be magnified by the fact that his friends are around.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014