And That's Why You're Single

Where Can a Single Woman Meet a Rich Alpha Male? #atwys

Posted: 22 Jun 2014 02:14 PM PDT

Alias (DO NOT USE A REAL NAME!!): Babyface
:
Comment: Hi I am a sucesssul 36 year old single woman who is habitually attracted to the ambitious career man. Where to find a career man who can commit or how to get a career man to commit? Thanks!
Age: 36
City: Vancouver
State: Canada

What are you really asking here?

Are you inquiring as to how you can find a man with a job? Because that doesn’t exactly seem like it would be that much of a problem. What does “ambitious career man” mean? You keep saying “career man” like it’s a thing. What are you talking about, specifically?

When I hear the phrase “ambitious career man” I translate that as “rich alpha male.” How can you find a rich alpha male? I think the better question is: why would you want one? Men like that don’t become successful or rich by working 40 hours a week. They get that way by working 50 or 60 hours a week. Guys like that don’t get a lot of weekends or nights off. They’re either in the office or out with clients or traveling. Their relationships typically aren’t their top or even second to the top priority. So I’ll ask again, what about these men are so appealing? I mean, besides a fancy title and their bank account?

Descriptors like “ambitious” and “driven” and “sophisticated” typically all refer to one thing: money. Money and power. I understand why those two qualities are so enticing, but what so many women who place importance on those qualities don’t understand is that many if not most men who possess those traits aren’t going to settle for them. They are not hurting for dates. They are in demand. They also can smell from a mile away who is dating them for the prestige and who is dating them for who they are, not that most of them care either way. If you place a man’s job at the top of your must have lost, then you’re not all that concerned about his character. A career does not define you. It’s only an aspect to someone’s identity. Except, of course, when it comes to the rich alpha guy. His job is a core part of his identity.

If dating a man like this is truly what you want, then I’d suggest staking out high end events and social functions like fundraisers. Go where the money is. You won’t find that guy at a bar or a speeddating event, because he’s probably still working. That is, when he’s not busy boning the numerous women lining up to get a spot on his roster. Those guys have options out the wazoo. Therefore, you need to bring it. Like, Bring. It. You will need to look the part of The Girlfriend/Wife, because guys like that don’t date schlubs. They date women who enhance their brand, so to speak. If you are writing to me to ask me how to meet these particular types of men, then that probably means you’re not the caliber of woman that they date.

If I’ve misread what you’ve said, and you’re actually looking for a man with a strong work ethic, those shouldn’t be difficult to come across. Go to networking events and alumni functions. There might be a lot of people there out of work and looking for jobs, though. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date a hustler aka someone who doesn’t get complacent and who is always looking for ways to improve and build on what he’s accomplished. Like the rich alpha guys, their schedule is pretty packed as well. You can date them, but they might not be anxious to get into anything too serious.

That’s the conundrum that we face when we opt to date men with goals and aspirations. We want the successful, hard-working guy but that often comes at a price. That doesn’t mean you have to settle for someone who works part time or who is aimless. You just have to appropriate your expectations. Those relationships won’t just fall into your lap and materialize overnight. They take more time to grow.

Thoughts?

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Sunday, June 22, 2014