Thursday, November 14, 2013

And That's Why You're Single

And That's Why You're Single

This Is Why Most Dating Advice Sucks Donkey Balls

Posted: 14 Nov 2013 07:15 AM PST


Oh good. Another article that makes my head explode.meangirls10

There is no right or wrong time to have sex with a new partner.  You have to have sex when you're ready.  The 3 date rule hook up really does not apply here and isn't your friend.  Unless you're only looking for a casual sex partner, you should wait until you're exclusive with the person and you've seen that they want to be with you regardless of what you're doing. Then and only then should you move forward with a sexual relationship and ONLY when you're ready.

So, there’s no wrong time to have sex so  long as it happens after you’re exclusive? Isn’t that advice contradictory?

This is another example of why so many advice articles about dating and sex suck donkey balls. Especially ones written by single women. (Flame away, motherfucker.) The authors are almost always INCAPABLE of being objective with their insights.  Look, sister, if you prefer to wait until exclusivity is established before you have sex, god bless you. If you have success with that and you get to avoid feeling used and bummed out, then by all means stick to that approach.  But don’t try and persuade other women to follow your lead just so you won’t feel like odd man out. And that is the underlying message to this piece.

I’ll make a sweeping generalization here and say that someone who wants commitment before sex doesn’t like sex or doesn’t consider sex important to a relationship.  Which, again, is absolutely 100% okay. Of course, they also often insist that they love The Cock.You can’t have it both ways. Either you really like sex, which means you want a partner that satisfies you, or you don’t. You are not required to put great sex at the top of your list of must haves. But just because you don’t doesn’t mean it’s bad if other people do.  If the goal of applying the “no sex until we’re exclusive” rule is to weed out all the people who do like sex, then that makes sense. It’s wise to want your partner to have a similar sex drive as yours. It makes things easier.  But to encourage women to wait for exclusivity before having sex without alerting them to the possible side effects is irresponsible.

It’s perfectly acceptable to wait until a guy commits before having sex. What makes articles like this dangerous isn’t the advice itself. It’s that they do not consider the male perspective. The advice isn’t well rounded. It’s one sided. The author’s side. But many women won’t consider that when reading the piece. If they are like the author, they will feel validated and continue on down this path where it’s all about them and their wants and needs and the guy is just supposed to bend to their whims. That’s not reality. The reality is, at least for men in the writer’s age bracket of 35+, they’re probably not going to commit to someone without having sex with them. Nor would I or many other women of any age. This isn’t a “guy thing.” Prioritizing sexual compatibility is not exclusive to the male gender. Insisting that somebody pledge monogamy to you without knowing what they are getting is unfair. If they say yes, then they’re possibly locking themselves into something that will ultimately make them unhappy. Say no and they’re creeps just looking to get laid.  By making such a request, I think a woman is putting the onus on the man to prove himself and to assuage her insecurities. That’s not his job. That’s hers. She doesn’t want the relationship. She wants the promise of fidelity and security of thinking he’s not sleeping with anyone else. She wants ownership.

 

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