And That's Why You're Single

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Never Go Full Crazy Posted: 18 Nov 2013 03:26 PM PST Tweet Name: Sharon : Comment: I’m 38 years old. 2 years ago my mom past away about the same I ended a 17 year relationship with my guy. I was grieving the loss of my mother and my boyfriend, and very insecure and uncertain about my future. 6 months later I reconnected with a old crush on fb, he showed a good deal of interest and I was very flattered. Then I started texting and calling a lot. So much he stopped responding.  Now that I’m back to myself. And it’s been about a year and a half since we spoke I was wondering if I should send a apologetic message for my needy behavior.  And hope for the best and what should I say, or is it a complete dead end. thanks a lot Age: 38 City: Kingston State: pa Something tells me that the grief over your mom’s death and your break up really weren’t the root cause of your neediness. I’m going to posit that you were probably needy before that. You’ve just chosen to remember things differently and think you can use your Mom’s death as an excuse. We’ve been conditioned to believe that grief is an acceptable reason to be an asshole. It’s not. You’re an adult. You lost your Mom when you were an adult. Yes, it’s always the compassionate thing to do to give people of a window of time to get a hold of themselves. But 6 months is a long time. Yes, I know. I’m the last person to tell people how they should grieve. I live tweeted “Masters of Sex” 24 hours after my sister died.  I’m not telling her how to grieve. I’m suggesting that her grief should not be considered a free pass to be irrational. A self-aware adult knows this. If, 6 months after your mom died, you still didn’t have a handle on your emotions and impulse control then that speaks to deeper issues at work. Let it go. It’s been a year and a half. If you contact him, you’re going to look like you’ve been thinking about this for almost two years, further cementing his possibly misguided opinion that you’re unhinged. If he ceased replying to you, it’s because he no longer wanted to engage you. Once someone feels that the person they’re dating might be unstable, it’s hard to go backwards. There’s just too much water under the bridge. You end up second guessing everything and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Move on.

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