And That's Why You're Single |
| Why Do We Cling To Dead End Relationships? Posted: 15 Nov 2013 05:57 AM PST Name: Sarah Comment: I’ve been dating a guy for a couple of months (met on OKCupid, but have many mutual friends) and it was great. I mean, GREAT, great! But he moved 4 hours away (that was planned, I learned about it soon after starting to date him) and I am here. Oh, we’re both 40ish, no kids, etc. He recently put up a new OKCupid profile in his new city and said it was just to meet people to do things with, though we are still an item and I have visited and may even move to join him. I’m uncomfortable with this OKC thing. Should I be? Or should I be just plain uncomfortable with him? He is in constant contact with me and I believe would tell me if he met someone. Help. How did you know that he put up a profile on OKC? You know what? Forget it. That’s not important. Yes, you should be uncomfortable with the fact he put up an OKCupid profile. I doubt he’s actually looking for new friends. He’s moving on. This guy started dating you when he knew he was moving away. He didn’t tell you when you met or even before that. He didn’t even say it in his profile. He told you “soon after.” That’s being deceptive. That’s the kind of lie that you don’t look past. No, he probably wouldn’t tell you that he’s met someone. He wasn’t terribly honest with you from the beginning, so why should he start now? My guess is he’s just waiting for you to clue in to the fact that the relationship is over. He moved away. He put up a profile on a dating site. Those are two huge red flags that should alert you to the fact that he was never terribly invested in you or this relationship you think you have. I apologize for being curt here, but it’s alarming to me that somebody your age would even fall for this. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with fearing that this one person we’ve met might be our last opportunity for love and happiness. I totally understand that feeling, but is enduring all the confusion and angst really worth it? Is it worth having the modicum of attention that this man provides if it means questioning his words and monitoring his online activity? There are other guys. Why are you holding on so tightly to this one?
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| Posted: 14 Nov 2013 05:02 PM PST
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