And That's Why You're Single |
| You Don’t Get To Tell Me If I’m Sexy Or Not Posted: 09 May 2014 06:42 AM PDT As predicted, yesterday’s post got a ton of interesting comments. One of the points raised was the idea of misrepresentaion,
Ugh. You sound like a slice of heaven. Did it ever occur to you that they select “fit” or “athletic” to come up in more searches? If they’re posting full body shots that are unobstructed, who cares what descriptor they choose? Who even pays attention to that anymore? And maybe people feel compelled to share how healthy they are because people like you relegate them to loserville because they don’t look a certain way? You poor dear. I hope you managed to walk away from your date with a “chunkie” unscathed. Not everybody can shed those final twenty pounds, love. Some people are just predisposed to be a certain build. There’s only so much we can do in terms of weight loss. My hormone levels are high and they contribute to my shape. So, if I carry an extra twenty pounds because of that, but work out regularly and eat well and have great lung capacity, a typically strong immune system, and can maintain a fat burning target heart rate for 30-40 minutes then I’m not fit because you say so? Okay. Grab a smoothie and take a seat.
But, I like stuff with sugar coating. ‘Cause, see, I’m fat. Fatties love sugar coating, amirite??? The faulty advertising complaint is as old as fire. Hate to break it to you, but if you’re being so badly duped that you’re showing up to a date and your date looks significantly heavier or older, then you’re a victim of your own shallowness, naivete, and stupidity. If you can’t tell an old photo or haven’t become hip to the tricks that people use to present a more flattering appearance, that’s on you. Photo shop. It’s a thing. And if you are so offended at the idea of a push up bra or make-up or whatever, stay the fuck home. Really? You think everybody look exactly like that when their clothes and make-up come off? You’re adorable. If men and women posted what they actually look like in the morning, I’m pretty sure nobody would get laid. Especially women because we’re expected to hide our “flaws” just so we can meet your approval. Get bent. Nobody wants to date that gym-obsessed fanatic who goes around quoting their BMI. I dated someone two summers ago who always had to have salads. “Let’s get pasta” I’d say. No, no, no. He could make us salads! Much healthier. I’m Sicilian. We eat and we savor every moment of what we consume. Making a meal is akin to painting a portrait for us. It’s an art. I refuse to be one of those people who freaks out because I gained 5 pounds or who manically trains for marathons because I’m actually running away from my fear of gaining weight. Give me meatballs or give me death.
Avery here has admitted that he’s 5’7″ and in his forties in many of his comments. Yet, mysteriously, his OKCupid profile has at times stated that he’s 39 and 5’9″. His preferences are also symptomatic of the deeper problem. Um, you know most of these women are photo shopped and stretched and altered in order to look a certain size, right? That many of them look nothing like what we see on screen or in magazines? You’re being sold an image. If you were to live with them and see them every day you would learn that they, like many of us, wear spanx and push up bras and need various underclothing to smooth out lines and bumps. And PS? Spank do not make a woman look smaller than she is. That’s another lie we’ve been sold in order to move a product. Spanx do not, for the most part, create a waist where there is none. It does not mask a bigger stomach or rolls. If anything, Spanx makes a lot of that stuff more pronounced because of how they’re made. People like Avery base their ideal on celebrities because being a celebrity comes with status. Dating someone with the body of a famous actress or who looks like a popular actors falsely convinces people that they have achieved a level of social proof otherwise unattainable by most. It’s not even all about attraction. That’s the kicker. We want people who are above average in looks or wealth because it helps us feel better than other people. Why don’t a lot of women want to date short men? Why, because the short guy isn’t somebody they can show off to their friends or use in conversation to one up somebody. No, it’s not because they like to wear heels. Sorry. Same goes for men who only date women of a certain weight or body type.God forbid they show up to a party with a fattie, right? RIGHT? I mean, if they can’t show her off, what’s the point? Again, it’s not even about attraction. It’s about gaining value and status amongst peers.
Kim Kardashian is no where near a size 2/4. Like, not even close. I don’t know what size she is, nor do I care. Having her picture all over the media has been a blessing and a curse for women. I love that we’re bombarded with photos of Kardashian because it assists in changing what is considered “beautiful.” I wish some of the women’s ezines would get off her dick and recognize that, while she might be overexposed, she’s contributing to the bigger picture of body acceptance.The downside is that people in her camp (and maybe even her) insist upon falsely stating what her size is so that she doesn’t get shit on for not fitting an ideal. Christina Hendricks, too, is helping adjust our point of reference for what is considered sexy. First off, most people know that they pad her for Mad Men, right? There was actually a time not too long ago when women with Joan Hollaway’s body were the ideal. Wrap your brain around that, guys.
I just…whatever. Some people don’t get it and never will. I put myself out there so I have to take part of the responsibility for Lisa’s comment. The comments on my dress size don’t bother me. It’s the idea that Lisa, and people like her, think it’s appropriate to offer unsolicited criticisms of someone’s looks. She even states that she knows she’s over stepping, but for whatever reason just can’t restrain herself. She HAS to share her opinion because, good God, what would happen if she didn’t?The world HAS to hear what she thinks! I was on my afternoon walk a few weeks ago and came across a photo shoot for Ralph Lauren. The model was posed next to an expensive car wearing a perfectly tailored to her body suit. I didn’t even notice the car. All I could look at was her. There were two women next to me watching the shoot as well. When I commented on how the model pulled the focus from the car because of how well she wore the suit, one of the women said, “I know. We hate her, right?” I ignored that comment and said I thought the model looked amazing and continued on my way. I walked away thinking about how comfortable she was saying something like that to me, a stranger. It shouldn’t be like that. And, look, I’m certainly no angel when it comes to stuff like that. I have that uglier side, too. I am not above it, though I am much more aware of how talking like that contributes to the bigger problem and do what I can not to do it.
Oh. Well if a thread on Reddit says so, then….
Exactly.
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especially as it has to do with online dating.
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